tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-198741081715669374.post2975037912288073369..comments2022-03-21T05:26:28.053-07:00Comments on what would nawny do?: Laissez-Faire?nawnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03600777414767932106noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-198741081715669374.post-50946139929141766582009-02-16T12:44:00.000-08:002009-02-16T12:44:00.000-08:00Anon, thank you! I absolutely agree that the emoti...Anon, thank you! I absolutely agree that the emotions underlying our interactions (fear, yes, but others as well) are a huge part of our communication. Letting go of fear, doing our own inner work to build confidence and optimism -- how crucial to growth! And how critical for us as parents.<BR/><BR/>Monica, I agree. I think the difference in parenting is that we are also asking if we are doing all that we can to nurture our children's deep satisfaction.nawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03600777414767932106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-198741081715669374.post-43882757484288539432009-01-29T04:03:00.000-08:002009-01-29T04:03:00.000-08:00If it feels like laissez-faire parenting, dig deep...<I>If it feels like laissez-faire parenting, dig deeper into your own mind. </I><BR/><BR/>I think in a way, laissez-faire parenting can be thought of as an aspect of "laissez-faire" living, ie. living without trying to achieve one's full potential. <BR/><BR/>And to prevent that, one must dig into one's mind and ask oneself if what one is doing is satisfying, as you say.Monicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06233721827878297949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-198741081715669374.post-85754426650483400292009-01-28T14:36:00.000-08:002009-01-28T14:36:00.000-08:00Thanks for your thoughtful answer! I hope we can e...Thanks for your thoughtful answer! I hope we can explore these ideas further in the comments.<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>I like how you identified those the two issues. I think the idea that children have to lose sometimes is one of those parenting ideas that many people seem to find impossible to question. <BR/><BR/>I also think the identification-labelling aspect of that is spot on. <BR/><BR/>And to go a bit further on that, I think it is parents and other significant people in children's lives, and their attitude to failure, which most influence the attitude on thier own failure kids will have. <BR/><BR/>So, when parents try to prevent kid's loses from a place of fear, they transmit that fear... but when they try to provoke loses so the kids "get tough", and they do that from a place of fear, they also transmit that fear...<BR/><BR/>I think it is good parenting helping kids realize all humans are fallible and that it is not useful to identify with the occasional loosing.<BR/><BR/>As to the second aspect, I also think you are spot on. How one chooses to exert the power one has over one's children is in my opinion the ultimate, deeper parenting issue. And I think something that prompts one's anxiety as a parent is the fact that one does not hold that power forever, but one's children will grow and have to deal with the world on their on, and that their first years are so crucial to their development. It can feel like an overwhelming responsibility.<BR/><BR/><I><BR/>Is this anxiety about what people should do, what learning should look like? </I><BR/>This is a good "question why I am questioning myself" reminder. If one is attached to what other people judge to be one's parenting skills, one could doubt oneself this way.<BR/><BR/><I>Or is this a reaction to subtle cues that the environment could be richer, the parents could be more engaged, the locus of control could be more clearly within each individual?</I><BR/><BR/>Excellent way to put it! And food for thought for me...<BR/><BR/>Thanks again!<BR/><BR/>Thinking MomAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com